When Freedom is a Handicap

Most people are a bit jealous when I tell them that my husband and I work for ourselves. We can work and live anywhere as we are own boss. Last year we made the decision to relocate to Silicon Valley. Silicon Valley compared to Oklahoma City is what I imagine it’s like to move to another country. Many things are the same as well as the language too, but there are cultural and environmental differences that have made the transition sometimes humorous but often filled with stress.

The challenge when you have the freedom to do, say or live anywhere or anything is that you often second guess because of the fact you have the freedom to choose. And that, my friends is a very weird thing.

The decision to relocate and the search that ensued was open. We could live anywhere and had settled on the Bay. Now, the San Francisco Bay area is a big place, and we were constricted to one area of the other because of our family, parents or work. We had a completely blank slate.

A little over six months into our move we are settling in and finding the rhythm to our new California life, but sometimes in the back of my head I wonder, “What if we had decided to move to a different place or that other house?” “What if I hadn’t given up my Oklahoma life? Would I be happy now?”

It’s freedoms like this as an entrepreneur that are hard. We don’t have boundaries which is why I have business ADD. I’m a worrier by nature constantly evaluating, re-thinking and considering all options. It’s part of what has made me successful as a business woman. I have my plan and the alternatives all worked out even though most times. I’m prepared for the twists because I’ve spent time overthinking constantly.

I have the freedom to think, dream and build without the typical corporate restrictions which leaves me in a very weird and chaotic place. I calling it shitting ideas and it happens all over the place.

Shitting ideas is what I do for a living. It’s part of who I am. My job as a consultant and troubleshooter is to use my creativity to find a solution or approach that my client hadn’t considered. I help them find a way.

I have a million thoughts and ideas some of them good and some of them not so much and they are my own and early on in my entrepreneurial career, I became overwhelmed because I felt like I was missing out. It was sometimes hard for me to focus on my business because I was distracted by the creativity that was happening.

Freedom that we have is amazing, but for some it comes at a cost. The handicap of having living a life wide open without restriction and without cause. It can be paralyzing and even destroy who you are.

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